A statistics professor dies and so the test scheduled for that day is cancelled.
A student rings the department at 5 minute intervals to ask if the test is on. The guy answering the phone asks him, “Why the bloody hell are you ringing so often? I’ve told you 16 times the professor has passed away! What are you doing, some sort of research, are you experimenting on me? What the bloody hell is it?”
“Nah, the student replies, no research. I just like to hear you say it.”
*This ia another Hal Ashburner joke from down under. It sure makes statisticians feel unwanted!
How many tents will a campground hold?
Ten tenths since that adds up to a whole!!
*Sorry I lost the attribution on this one. However, you may wonder what this has to do with statistics. A possible incorrect answer to this question would be “one tenth (tent)” since in a one-way analysis of covariance with one covariate, the pooled within groups regression coefficient is not obtained by adding the seperate regression coefficients within each group but rather by dividing the pooled numerators of each of the within group coefficients by the pooled denominators of each of the within group coefficients. In our example, using regression-type pooling, 1/10 + 1/10 + 1/10 +… for ten terms = 10/100 or 1/10 but that is absurd! Now isn’t that special! I am sure you followed me. Is it any wonder that students have trouble with statistics when they are presented with esoteric “word salad” like the above. Please don’t take my ramblings seriously. I am only having FUN!!!
What do you call a tea party with more than 30 people?
A Z party!!!
*This is a great one from Stacey Ecott. I always thought a Z party was a roomful of slumbering statisticians listening to a keynote address at a convention. (Source: http://my.ilstu.edu/~gcramsey/Gallery.html)